Wednesday, February 23, 2011

ᎠᏂᏩᎾᏈ

Ꭷ ᏃᏭᏛ  In a world of nouns ᏣᎳᎩ has become another noun.  Warning! Teacher speak: The word ᏣᎳᎩ is actually usually used as an adjective, as in the language and culture ex. ᏣᎳᎩ ᎦᏫᏂᎯᏍᏗ, ᏣᎳᎩ ᎢᏯᏛᏁᏗ. It can be used as a noun when talking about the language and culture as well ex. ᏣᎳᎩ ᏕᎦᏕᎶᏆᎠ I am learning Cherokee.  It is not a person.  A Cherokee person is ᎠᏣᎳᎩ, you are Cherokee is ᎯᏣᎳᎩ, I am Cherokee is ᏥᏣᎳᎩ, while Cherokees are ᎠᏂᏣᎳᎩ.  In ᏣᎳᎩ ᎦᏬᏂᎯᏍᏗ the line between nouns and verbs is weak to nonexistent.  Despite that, I am starting to feel different.

As a young person ᏥᏧᏣ ᏥᎨᏒ.... I learned very early ᏥᏣᎳᎩ ᏥᏴᏫᏯ but I did not really know what that meant.  I did ᏲᏁᎦ things and sneakingly suspected that ᎠᏂᏣᎳᎩ ᎠᏂᏴᏫᏯ might have secretly been a subtype of ᎠᏂᏲᏁᎦ.  (That’s so embarrassing now, please don’t tell anyone.)  Since then I have learned differently.  In fact looking back with a greater understanding, I should have known better then.  I had thought ᏣᎳᎩ was a noun rooted in brown skin ᎤᏬᏗᎨ ᎦᏁᎦ ᎠᎴ ᏌᎪᏂᎨ ᎤᏁᎦᏃ ᏗᏆᏂᏲᏍᏗ

ᏃᏊ ᏥᎩ I know skin tone and cards are at best a beginning to ᎠᏂᏣᎳᎩ ᎠᏂᏴᏫᏯ
I have come to terms with the paradigm shift caused by ᎠᏂᎦᏚᏩᎩ ᎢᏯᏛᏁᎵᏓᏍᏗ

At some point it was no longer enough for me to be Cherokee, I realized I had to live it.  Of course to some this would have been an obvious truth, but to me first I had to become ᎠᏩᎾᏈ.  Before then, I was what I was - Cherokee ᎠᏎᏛ ᏃᏊ I have to seek and learn, I have to want-to-be.   My identity must become about what I do not who I am; I must be a verb ᏥᏣᎳᎩ

I looked at myself, no language skills, a weak understanding of clan and spirituality.  Sure I admired the Druids, but .....ᎠᏎᏛ  I went to my extended family but they knew little more than myself, well actually I was wrong about that, I just didn’t realize what they knew.  In fact, they were speakers ᏣᎳᎩ ᎠᏂᏬᏂᏍᎩ and I failed to hear them correctly.  Despite that, I have spent a lot of time learning from them and other ᎠᏂᎦᏴᎵ ᎠᏂᏴᏫᏯ that are barely, if at all related to me.

ᏃᏊ ᏥᎩ I go to ᎦᏘᏲ
I teach ᏣᎳᎩ ᎦᏬᏂᎯᏍᏗ
I am sometimes called traditional.
I’m not traditional, I wasn’t taught ᏣᎳᎩ ᎢᏯᏛᏁᎵᏓᏍᏗ from my parents, and little came from close relatives at all.  I was taught by the ᎤᏂᎵᏏ  ᎠᎴ ᎤᏂᏚᏚ of the children and grandchildren that I will teach when they bother to listen, or one day ask.

ᏥᏩᎾᏈ I will always seek and hunger, I can never quit.  I was struck with ᏚᏳᎪᏛ and cannot go back to being a noun.  I am a wannabe, I am not cool and relaxed and refined, I cannot rest on my laurels, my thirst will always rage, and I will always search.... aniwanabi.... There is too much to learn in one life time so I ask you to ᏕᏣᏌᎳᏗᎨᏍᏗ ᎢᏯᏛᏁᎵᏓᏍᏗ ᏕᏣᏕᎶᏆᏍᎨᏍᏗᏃ and I only hope you will want to lift one another up to learn what you can ᎢᏥᎦᏚᏩᎩ ᎠᏎᏛ ᏥᏩᎾᏈ.... ᎣᏏᏳ ᎠᏯ ᏩᏕ ᏥᎪᏪᎸᎦ

3 comments:

Deb Hair said...

ᎭᏩ ᎠᎴ ᎣᏍᏓ ᏗᎧᏁᏨ.

Anonymous said...

Some of what you say feels like a reflection of me and what I have felt and thought in my lifetime. I wish I could read and speak the language so that I could fully comprehend what you have written. I hate that we, as Tsalagi, have to accept a colonially-imposed identification system. It leaves people like me hovering on the edge, at times being Tsalagi and at other times feeling inadequate because my skin is not brown enough.

Anonymous said...

Wow. For years I had no idea that these feelings are ones that other Cherokees have been experiencing too. ...Aniwanabi... this is my new favorite word. Thank you for encouraging other Cherokees to keep seeking and learning. You have no idea the good that you are doing with this blog.